Lonely

How you might be feeling

Sometimes you can feel alone and as though nobody understands what you’re going through, even when you’re surrounded by other people. You can feel lonely if you:

• Find it hard to make friends
• Have moved schools or to a new place and have started somewhere new
• Have been abused or bullied
• Have lost someone close to you
• Don’t get on with your family or live in care
• Have an illness or disability
• Have an eating problem or are depressed
• Have ended a relationship

There are lots of different feelings that come with loneliness, but these are some of the most common.

• Isolated from the outside world
• Struggling to connect with other people
• Feeling like you have no friends around you
• Feeling low, sad or upset
• Starting to doubt yourself
• Feeling like you’re not good enough
• Increased feelings of stress and sleep problems

Top tips

Self-care – this looks different for everyone and can take time to find something that you love. It can include listening to a podcast, watching your favourite programme or film, cooking, exercising, learning a new skill, and many more things. Be patient and kind to yourself while you find the thing that you enjoy to do.

Reaching out – this could be reaching out to a loved one, or to a service in Portsmouth. It might be over the phone or in person. There are various community spaces around Portsmouth and helplines for you to speak with. This may include Kooth, Silverline, or in-person spaces like SPARK Community Space.

Volunteering – this is a great way to get out and meet new people. HIVE Portsmouth have an up to date list of volunteering opportunities across the city.

Making friends isn’t always easy, here are some tips to help…

• Look out for people with things in common with you, such as similar hobbies and interests.
• Join a club, activity or volunteer, this could be inside or outside school and online.
• Find things to share, like sweets, a new game or even a song or video that you like.
• When you talk to someone make sure you are using positive body language, for example smile, look people in the eye and try to speak clearly.

When to get help

If you’re struggling to cope and the things you’re trying yourself are not helping, there’s lots of helpful information about loneliness on our website.

There’s lots of options – including both online and in-person support.

PositiveMinds and Kooth are good options for support if you’re feeling lonely, but any service will welcome and support you to get the right help you need.

Are you being bullied?

No one has the right to bully you. Try to ignore the bully and report the incident to a trusted adult. You can call Childline for advice at any time on 0800 1111.

Starting a new school?

Going to a new school can be scary, but it can also be an exciting new start. There are things you can do to help you cope and feel positive. Find out more on Childline’s advice for moving schools.

Lost someone close to you?

The death of someone you care about, or even of a pet, can be very difficult. It’s important to remember that everyone experiences loss or bereavement differently. However you’re feeling is ok – cry if you feel like it.

Feeling upset, scared or worried is normal, but it’s also alright if you don’t feel those things. You might find your emotions very tough to deal with. Childline’s website can help with ways to cope when someone dies.

If you’re aged 16+ and not sure where to get support, contact the Portsmouth Mental Health Hub on 0300 123 6621 (Monday-Friday, 8am-6pm) to talk to the team, or chat online.