Self-esteem

What is self-esteem?

Self-esteem is how we value and perceive ourselves. It’s based on our opinions and beliefs about ourselves, which can feel difficult to change. We might also think of this as self-confidence.

Your self-esteem can affect whether you:

Like and value yourself as a person
Can make decisions and assert yourself
Recognise your strengths
Feel able to try new or difficult things
Show kindness towards yourself
Move past mistakes without blaming yourself unfairly
Take the time you need for yourself
Believe you matter and are good enough
Believe you deserve happiness

What’s it like to have low self-esteem?

Watch Nathan, Hannah, Helen, Rishi and Georgina talk about their experiences of low self-esteem, including how it feels, what’s helped them and how their friends and family can help.

What can cause low self-esteem?

The things that affect our self-esteem are different for everyone. Your self-esteem might change suddenly. Or you might have had low self-esteem for a while.

There are lots of things in life that may contribute to low self-esteem. For example:

Being bullied or abused
Experiencing prejudice, discrimination or stigma, including racism
Losing your job or difficulty finding employment
Problems at work or while studying
Physical health problems
Mental health problems
Relationship problems, separation or divorce
Problems with money or housing
Worries about your appearance and body image
Feeling pressure to meet unrealistic expectations, for example through social media

You might have had some of these experiences. And you might have had difficulties that aren’t listed here. Or there might not be one particular cause.

If you struggle with low self-esteem, it might feel as if making changes will be difficult. But there are things you can try. See below tips to improve your self-esteem for some suggestions.

Is low self-esteem a mental health problem?

Low self-esteem isn’t a mental health problem in itself. But mental health and self-esteem can be closely linked.

Some of the signs of low self-esteem can be signs of a mental health problem. This is especially if they last for a long time or affect your daily life. For example:

Feeling hopeless or worthless
Blaming yourself unfairly
Hating yourself
Worrying about being unable to do things

Having a mental health problem could also cause you to have low self-esteem. And it might feel harder to cope or take steps to improve your self-esteem if you struggle with your mental health.

If you are worried about your mental health, these pages on seeking help for a mental health problem have information on how to get support.

More information about self esteem

Tips to improve your self-esteem

How can I improve my self-esteem?

This page has some tips and suggestions for improving your self-esteem, or self-confidence.

Some people find these ideas useful, but remember that different things work for different people at different times. Only try what you feel comfortable with.

Be kind to yourself
Try to recognise positives
Build a support network
Try talking therapy
Set yourself a challenge
Look after yourself

Be kind to yourself

Get to know yourself – for example, what makes you happy and what you value in life. You might find it helpful to write this in a journal
Try to challenge unkind thoughts about yourself – you might automatically put yourself down. If you find yourself doing this, it can help to ask: “Would I talk to a friend in this way?”
Say positive things to yourself – some people like to do this in front of a mirror. It can feel strange at first, but you may feel more comfortable the more you do it
Practise saying no – being assertive can be difficult if you’re not used to it. But agreeing to too many things to please others can be draining. It could help to pause, take a breath and think about how you feel before agreeing to do something you don’t want to
Try to avoid comparing yourself to others – for example, it might help to limit how much time you spend on social media or online communities. What other people often choose to share about their lives isn’t always the full picture
Do something nice for yourself – for example, making your favourite meal or playing a game you enjoy

Try to recognise positives

Celebrate your successes – no matter how small they may seem, take time to praise yourself. For example, this could be getting outside for a walk or doing some tidying
Accept compliments – you could save them up to look over when you’re feeling low or doubting yourself
Ask people what they like about you, if you feel comfortable. They may recognise things that you don’t think about yourself
Write a list of things you like about yourself – for example, this could be a skill that you’ve learnt, or something you do to help other people

Build a support network

Talk to someone you trust – having someone listen to you and show they care can help. If you aren’t able to open up to someone close to you, you could call a helpline to speak to someone anonymously. For example, you could call Samaritans on 116 123
Focus on positive relationships – it might feel difficult to control who you spend time with. But where possible, it can help to spend more time with people who make you feel good about yourself
Try peer support – making connections with people who have similar or shared experiences can help. For example, online communities like Mind’s Side by Side can be a good source of support.

Try talking therapy

Talking therapies can help with building self-esteem. They can also help you find ways to cope with experiences that affect how you feel about yourself.

See Mind’s pages on talking therapies and counselling for more information.

Set yourself a challenge

Try volunteering – you might decide to volunteer your time for something you feel passionate about. For more information on volunteering, see the Volunteer by Do-IT website
Set small goals – this could help things feel more manageable, and give you a greater sense of achievement
Learn something new – for example, this could be trying a new hobby or creative activity. Or taking time to read a book about a new subject

Look after yourself

Try to get enough sleep – getting too little or too much sleep can have a negative impact on how you feel. See our pages on coping with sleep problems for more information
Think about your diet – eating regularly and keeping your blood sugar stable can make a difference to your mood and energy levels. See these pages on food and mood for more information
Try to do some physical activity – being active can help your mental wellbeing. This may include helping to improve your self-esteem. See these pages on physical activity for more information
Spend time outside – being in green space can often help how you feel. See these pages on nature and mental health for more information
Practise mindfulness and meditation – for example, you could try Headspace’s meditation course for self-esteem
Try to avoid recreational drugs and alcohol – you might want to use recreational drugs or alcohol to cope with difficult feelings about yourself. But in the long run they can make you feel worse and can prevent you from dealing with underlying problems. See our pages on recreational drugs and alcohol for more information
Sign up to a self-help programme – for example, you could try the Reading Well books scheme to find books to help with your self-esteem

Useful contacts

Mind

Mind’s helplines provide information and support by phone and email.

Local Minds offer face-to-face services across England and Wales. These services include talking therapies, peer support and advocacy.

Side by Side is Mind’s supportive online community for anyone experiencing a mental health problem.

Mind Tools

mindtools.com
Tips and articles on personal effectiveness, management and leadership.

Reading Well

reading-well.org.uk
A series of self-help books to help you understand and manage your health and wellbeing.

Samaritans

116 123 (freephone)
jo@samaritans.org
Freepost SAMARITANS LETTERS
samaritans.org
Samaritans are open 24/7 for anyone who needs to talk. You can visit some Samaritans branches in person.

Volunteer by Do IT

doit.life/volunteer
Lists UK volunteering opportunities.